Some weeks ago I gave Ivy House Interiors some values (see earlier blog post below) and I've realised in the last day that what I have set as my company values aren't currently the personal values by which I live my life. I'm there with most of them but what I hadn't realised was that more than 2 years after leaving the corporate environment, how much I was still brainwashed into a 'must deliver as soon as possible at all costs' mind-set.
I made my decision to leave the rat-race while travelling in the back of an ambulance with Small1 at 3am one Saturday in December. I can't remember having a 'defining moment' ever before but this certainly was one. I had returned to work 6 weeks earlier and in the space of those 6 weeks, Small1 was on his 3rd hospital admission after developing pneumonia. As I sat in the back of that ambulance opposite his tiny little face, smothered in an oxygen mask, I was trying to remember what was in my work schedule for the coming week and how I was going to fit everything in around being in hospital 40 miles from home - then like the biggest coldest wettest slap in the face ever possible, I looked up and (I'm now blubbing) there he was, my baby. By the time we got out of the ambulance at the other end I met up with GB and that was it - from that moment on my life had changed. My family are my priority and it was a great opportunity to follow my new found love of interior design. How lucky am I ?!
So why 2 and a half years on have I taken myself back to that ambulance journey ? Well, small2 has the chicken pox ('pops' as they are know in our house). My first thoughts, after berating myself for thinking we had got away with it (Small1 had them 21 days ago), was everything that I had planned to do with regards to the business this week and how it was going to have to be done in the evenings / nap times and how I was going to have to re-arrange a meeting that I was really looking forward to. Cue 2nd biggest coldest wettest slap in the face !
I am still very ambitious and I am going to make this business work. It will deliver both the results for the customers and the WAHM lifestyle to be able to support the family. But that's just it - and I'm being honest - my family will come first and poor spotty, grizzly birthday girl-to-be is my priority. The values that I set were customer facing and I've realised that GB, small1 and small2 are more than deserving of the same treatment. So as I sit here, on the landing outside her bedroom, I have remembered how lucky I am ...and the fact that I am my own boss means that if I need to launch my new website next week rather than this week, then that's what will happen ! ...please bare with us it will be worth the wait.
A very honest blog that I can totally relate to! When youre trying to do something on the laptop and my 2yo is saying 'mummy, look!'and I look up and see his little face and realise how fast he's growing up.
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